At the still point of the turning world

James is out of town for training in Portland this week and next and Scott is hardly around while any of us are awake so I am on my own. I have known this was coming and assured all worried parties that I would be fine, that plenty of parents of three children and more do it all of the time and I would just adjust, step up and it would all be over before any permanent damage could be done to any of us. Yesterday, I was sure this was the case. I got everyone up, fed, bathed, entertained and generally ran the household effectively with very few mind blowingly awful moments.

But today was just chock-full of them. I finished the book I had been reading while Jake was feeding himself a bottle, Finn was still in bed talking to himself and Henry was squawking beside me in bed. The ending was just really, really sad in that it-could-end-no-other-way sort of ending, which just made me put the book down and cry very hard because it was sad and because I didn't want it to end.

To rally my spirits, I fed everyone and put them in the car to go for a drive up the coast, to actually see the lovely coast line so famous for surfing and breathtaking views. I consulted the next door neighbor, as she came back from the beach, on the best route and then we set off. I went too far and didn't bring enough snacks or pacifiers or whatever the magic combination of soothing instruments and so half way through our hour-long outing, everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs. Including me. I pulled over a number of times to replug and redistribute toys, making the trip even longer and by the time I had turned around to go home, we got stuck in some mind boggling traffic at 11am, went through a construction zone that materialized in the time we had been gone and then followed the slowest little dodge spirit along the last 3 miles of winding road to home. I nearly back ended him to help the process along.

All three boys were fine really; I think they were crying mostly because everyone else was (this seems to be a common theme) but by the time we pulled into the driveway to my enormous relief, they were all hiccuping with subsiding sobs.

I'll do better tomorrow. Maybe.